So its Friday night again, my boys and I are going to hang out after work. Have a few drinks and chops, talk about sports, politics, government and yes... Girls, our girlfriends (who live with us) and wife.
Jimoh will open the floor with everyone laughing at how his girlfriend exploits him of every penny he makes even though it was obvious she earned more than him. And Kunle will complain about his wife who is in and out of town on 'supposed business trips' but come back with expensive clothes and jewelries charged to his account. Uche will simply laugh and brag about his Igbo women and how he would readily find me one should Atinuke misbehave. And yes, my Atinuke, blessed with both beauty and character, my friends tell me I am the luckiest of them all, with a woman like her, but the truth is not as it seems.
Of a truth Atinuke is blessed with beauty and character, but her lack of shame and respect for her body has always been a problem. She isn't afraid of wearing indecent clothes that flaunt sensitive parts of her body.
And when I ask her why she does it
She will confidently say " I love my body and I happily show that by how I dress... Besides, I love the dress"
'that's an excuse not a reason' and then we argue and I end up apologizing for poking my nose where it doesn't belong (after all, I haven't married her)
If the night is still chill for more fun we hit a mega club and watch some teenagers and emotionally imbalanced girls make a fool of themselves.
We stay late watching some semi-nude girls dance around, some trouble makers get bounced off and some drunk girls get laid. Every man gets something to observe. At that point we don't remember how horrible our bosses must have been that day or week. We don't remember how bad we must have treated or been treated by our colleagues. We don't remember responsibilities... We just drink, eat and laugh.
And I wonder why do we do it?
We all have problems and issues we can't handle but we seat and laugh them off like all was well.
By morning we remember our problems afresh, we lift our problems to God and commit them into his hands, and Sunday... We go to church, we pray, praise, dance and worship God as a custom. The whole thing goes on and a new week comes, we pay our obligations to the women we are not married to and for Kunle he starves himself of the joyful part of marriage and then Friday comes, we are back at the club doing the usual.
Why do we still do it, its not like we have been helped or are being helped...
And when I ask myself why I do it; I believe I do it because I have not a clue as to how to solve my problems, and have failed to believe I have a God who can, he has not just clues but answers and solutions.
I do it because, I am afraid to become a freak before the world, a man who is masked by religion and an absence of a social life.
I do it because, I need to maintain a firm relationship with my friends, be there for my guys, have their backs and stand by them.
And when I ask Kunle why he does it, he will say, better to spend Friday nights with you guys than be in an empty home.
And when I ask why he choose to stay in such a marriage.
"Am too young to be a divorcée, there has never been one in the history of my family. Plus, I saw all this and still married her. So I have to deal with it" we will all laugh, we know so well that Kunle cheats on his wife but who cares she caused it. In our prayers we pray she never find out.
When I asked Jimoh why he smokes despite the warning: 'smokers are liable to die young' written on the pack he puffed some smoke into the air and said 'its a feeling that can't be explained'
In response I said, "I understand, death is also a feeling that can't be described"
And Uche will tell me I'm being melancholic "stop 'deep thinking' man and face life as it is"
No one has a better reason as to why we do it... All we have are excuses.
Why do you do it? Whatever it is that you do, why do you do it, if you have no reasonable reason and just excuses... You're doing it wrong.
Let's do it because it's God's will and expectation of us not because humanity requires us to do it.
No one has reasons good enough for the negative things they do, we simply have excuses... Diplomatic ones for doing what we do. I have them too, lots of diplomatic excuses for the right and wrong things I do.
But I always tell myself that "whatever I do, be it right or wrong, I do it for the right reason not as an excuse for my unachievable and unnecessary wants and desires."
Nice. Keep it up
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