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A Direful Night



   Psychologist define fear as an emotional experience in anticipation of some specific pain or danger. It is usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight.

    I used to think am this brave amazon-type woman who isn't afraid of anything, but last night proved otherwise. I was the opposite of who I ever thought I was.

     I was on visit to a relative's, a perfect getaway weekend from the stress and hustle in school.

     Lemme describe the house of my host; it's an old duplex, built in the '70s , has three bedrooms on a row and a bathroom shared by the occupants of the other two rooms.

    The bigger room was the Master's bedroom where my host stayed, it had it's own bathroom and all. while I slept in one of the other two rooms. FYI, my host lived alone

    My room was the middle one, large and spacious with a noisy door.

   The door made so much noise when opened that I can swear the neighbors hear it. The room didn't have much, just my clothes in the wardrobe, a bed and a fridge.

    I retired to bed at 11:34pm, there was nothing interesting to watch on TV and I was ruminating on Titilope Sonuga's interview; a Civil Engineer turn spoken poem artist. I was on cloud nine with inspiration flowing in.

    Her story welcomed a traffic of insight and encouragement.

    As I approached the room I saw a moth in front of the door flying up towards the lamp above.
                       "you had better not follow me into the room or I'll kill you" I muttered

   I pushed the noisy door and entered the room shutting the door behind me. I turned on the light and fan and walked to the wardrobe to get my night dress. And then it started...

     I heard this forceful bang on my door, the push so great that the door shook. I was startled and alarmed. I ran to the door and bang it hard using my right hand to hold it against any opposition. Like I was strong enough to hold off what or who it was.

     I didn't hear a sound of reaction, I quickly turned off the fan which was right beside the door.
I heard no footsteps not even a small one, it obviously wasn't my host.

     I bang the door with my palm and shouted "who is there? " there was no reply, just silence.
And then I heard two voices...
"open the door and check " said the brave, bad-ass one🙅
"don't open the door, you don't know what's behind the door" advised the fearful other.😱
(sorry this voices were in my heard not behind the door... Lol😁)

    I summoned all the courage I could find, I needed to know what hit my door so forcefully. I pulled the noisy door and before me was a big, white feathery creature with two big eyes. It was staring straight at me. I needed no prophet to tell me to shut the door, I did it swiftly.
"oh God👻, how did it get in? " I asked as I used my right hand to hold the door again.

    You ought to know what I saw by now, it's not a ghost o, it was a bird, an Owl as a matter of fact. Right in front of my room.



    I tiptoed to a corner where I grabbed a chair and used it against the door.

   Now the thing is, the chair wouldn't hold anything and it was not possible in any way for the bird to actually open the door but at fearful moments like this with flight/fight hormones circulating, our brain thinks of a host of things. It's our biological defense system giving us options for escape and survival.

    I couldn't close my eyes to sleep, what if it magically appear in my room and scratch me all over, I was too frightened to make a noisy movement.

   I was held spell bound by fear, the fear of a little creature which was most likely afraid of me.
In the midst of my fear this word came... "God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind"

   The word didn't take my fear away but it gave me an assurance of security. It strengthened and gave me utterance.

   In my heart I prayed...
     "God I don't know how this bird got in but, if you have to kill it before morning please do, if you want to chase it away it's also OK by me. But please let this bird go away"
 
    I couldn't sleep because of fear... Seriously fear is a bad guy. It consumes you and takes away every ounce of dignity you think you have. It makes us do the unthinkable, unimaginable and unspeakable.

    I was so afraid and didn't blink my eyes to sleep throughout the night.

   My eyes were wide open till 6:16am, and then nature forced me to get up at that time and when I opened the door, the bird was gone leaving nasty droppings around. I had stayed awake for nothing.

   The bird had found its way out and had flown off while I stayed awake holding tight my-bladders'-need-for-pee. 'Cos of the fear of a creature that had mind it's business and left... Let's leave the remaining matter for Mathias.

     So here is the moral, what are you afraid of? Are you afraid of the future, the uncertainty of tomorrow? Are you afraid that you will fail in life, marriage and purpose? Are you afraid of your past, do you think your mistakes will rob you of tomorrow's joy?

     That fear obviously holds you down because it's afraid to be overcomed, you will always be a slave to whatsoever you're afraid of.

    Fear is a formless figure that exist only in our minds. Face your fears and watch them die!
Rise and face those fears, if you overcome, you become a Victor whose conquest will live through generations.

    If you fail, well, you simply learn... And then you try a better way to fight your fears until you WIN.

JOO
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