We left the reception venue and I needed to tie my wrapper again. I was eight months pregnant, with swollen feet that would not fit any elegant shoes but leather sandals.
It was one of my friends getting married and I had to be there. The new groom called my friend all the sweet names in the book;
"my sweet, darling, pretty baby girl" as he gave his response. It was a magical moment and I was excited that my friend found love.
Outside the hall, still thinking about how wonderful life is for my friend, I asked hubby to hold my bag while I tied my wrapper, he was reluctant.
Perhaps he was conscious of the many people around, or he was still trying to figure out what is right for an African man to do for his wife publicly or not...I was upset. I wondered if this was how love fizzles out of a relationship.
Fast forward to two years, we were at another wedding.
God has a sense of humor and a way to teach me subtle lessons. It was a cold Saturday in December.
We stepped out of the church and there was snow on the ground. It was slippery and everyone cautiously stepped towards their cars.
My older sister and I attended the wedding. We held hands to maintain our balance.
I saw my friend, the bride that I so marveled at her new world two years ago. She was by herself trying to locate her husband. She sighted him from afar and said;
"honey, please come over and hold my hand, it is so slippery".
The guy responded; "I am still trying to maintain my own balance, hold on to the cars and make your way here".
It was as if I heard something out of the ordinary. The lesson was not over. From a few meters away, I saw a younger friend of ours telling his fiancée; "baby, hold on, do not move, its slippery, I will bring the car over!" At this point I almost fell down laughing.
Marriage is such a mystery. Do not compare your world with someone else.
Marriage is one aspect of life where you have to count your blessings, itemize them one by one.
Continually thank God for the things that work. No one has it all.
If your spouse does not part with his money easily but makes up for it in other ways, be grateful.
If your wife's meal does not taste like a caterers meal but she is a fantastic wife and mother, spend money on eating out occasionally.
Man has formula for almost everything. There is no one formula for marriage!
You only hear of what your friend's spouse does to make him/her a trophy spouse. Do you know about their own concession, what they accommodate and make up for in their relationship?
Before you throw away what you have because it looks better elsewhere or someone tells you their life is better than yours, count your blessings.
After watching these two scenes play out before my very eyes, I have learned to appreciate my spouse.
Age, maturity, desire to please each other and the love of Christ that binds us together make things better in marriage.
Would my husband hold my handbag for me in front of the whole world? If need be and maybe a little more.... The ideas we grew up to know culturally have a way of impacting us negatively even when we claim to know Christ.
Do not allow your community, social media or any other platform infuse negativity into your marriage.
Man is the only being that is unpredictable. Work with what you have, find peace in the face of your storm. I appreciate my husband, I learn to become blind to his shortcomings daily. I enjoy the blessings of being married to him and being silly at times.
Know this well; One size never fits all in marriage.
"Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other"
Comments
Post a Comment